i got a D? awesome!
May 16th 2008 05:54
judging by the date of my last post, it has been 2 years since i posted something here. i know you miss the substance that i put in each and every post that is well-thought of, carefully researched, and proof written by at least 1 dozen monkeys. so instead of apologyzing or lying, i mean giving, a reason why it's been that long, i will "write" something. writing is subject to reader discretion.
certain psychologists have found a very old 1930's test where you can rate your wife based on her performance on being, well you know, a wife. husbands give plus points to wives who ask for their husbands opinions, give good jokes, and serve meals on time. on the otherhand, minus points are given if they are slow in coming to bed, wear red nail polish, and is a back seat driver.
more below:
i don't know where to start. slow in coming to bed is at the top of the list for a reason. men come in less than a minute meaning women should to. equality right? if you're not done in 2 minutes or less then you are on your own sweetheart. i'm going to bed. wait, i think he has a different meaning with regards to the word coming. hmmmm
but as with all tests, this lacks a few important questions that are relevant to this day and age. there should be a few new ones added like:
- wears thongs on a daily basis (good)
- apprehensive to go on threesomes (bad)
- allows you to put and get it in wherever and whenever you want (very good)
- tells you to go to the grocery and go with her on shopping trips (bad)
- starts the conversation with a sigh and "we've go to talk..." (very bad)
but the real question is what will happen if your wife flunks? do you get rid of her and find you a new one? we should get a ruling on this. i think this should be given before you get married then do a performance evaluation every year just like in work.
"i want to give you your evaluation for this year. take a seat."
"you got a d. you have been underperforming this year. you need to step it up a notch. stop nagging me so much about the toilet seat. me giving you a bad score hurts me as much as it hurts you."
"that is all. you may leave."
so im thinking why limit it to only wives. we should get tests on your clingy girlfriend, your stick-up-his-ass professor, user-friendly friend, and your beer-bellied boss. then if they flunk, get rid of them.
if only the world is that simple.
certain psychologists have found a very old 1930's test where you can rate your wife based on her performance on being, well you know, a wife. husbands give plus points to wives who ask for their husbands opinions, give good jokes, and serve meals on time. on the otherhand, minus points are given if they are slow in coming to bed, wear red nail polish, and is a back seat driver.
more below:
i don't know where to start. slow in coming to bed is at the top of the list for a reason. men come in less than a minute meaning women should to. equality right? if you're not done in 2 minutes or less then you are on your own sweetheart. i'm going to bed. wait, i think he has a different meaning with regards to the word coming. hmmmm
but as with all tests, this lacks a few important questions that are relevant to this day and age. there should be a few new ones added like:
- wears thongs on a daily basis (good)
- apprehensive to go on threesomes (bad)
- allows you to put and get it in wherever and whenever you want (very good)
- tells you to go to the grocery and go with her on shopping trips (bad)
- starts the conversation with a sigh and "we've go to talk..." (very bad)
but the real question is what will happen if your wife flunks? do you get rid of her and find you a new one? we should get a ruling on this. i think this should be given before you get married then do a performance evaluation every year just like in work.
"i want to give you your evaluation for this year. take a seat."
"you got a d. you have been underperforming this year. you need to step it up a notch. stop nagging me so much about the toilet seat. me giving you a bad score hurts me as much as it hurts you."
"that is all. you may leave."
so im thinking why limit it to only wives. we should get tests on your clingy girlfriend, your stick-up-his-ass professor, user-friendly friend, and your beer-bellied boss. then if they flunk, get rid of them.
if only the world is that simple.
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