the best way to die
May 27th 2008 06:56
One thing is for sure. You, in a way, have a say on how you die. Take this fascinating story for example. Yes, he died while trying to prove he can spit further. There are a lot of ways to prove your manhood and I think 'spitting' isn't one of them. Leave the spitting to women. Seeing that they are coming from a bar and I'm pretty sure they're 100% wasted, this doesn't excuse them from being a dumbass. Here are better alternatives to prove your manhood:
1. Keeping count on how may times you got laid in a week
2. Counting and calling all the numbers you got in one night (to make sure they're legit)
3. Seeing how many would want to lick your balls (guys and animals included if you swing that way)
4. Zip down your fly and see which ones bigger
But I think an even worse way to die is you on a train or bus off to work then suddenly someone bombs the stinky public transport you're in while your iPod is in shuffle mode and a shitty song you don't like comes up. For example, U2's a beautiful day. First, you are on your way to a place you hate (office) to do something you also hate (job) to be with people who are idiots (co-workers). Next, your life sucks (public transport) and you are in the wrong place at the wrong time (bomb). It's a trifecta. Throw in a little salt to the wound with the song. Yes, it's life's way of telling you that by dying, you made today a beautiful day!
Hooray!
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